Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I have genetic eyebags and smile lines, but is there any way to get rid of them naturally with some massages or face yoga?

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

Does whey protein affect the kidneys?

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I am glad you enjoyed my pictures. Do you have any photos to share?

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

Could I still use a bonnet even if I’m white/have straight hair? I just want one to wear to bed for sensory purposes.

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I have a reading level above third grade

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

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When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

Dolphins place Terron Armstead on reserve-retired list - NBC Sports

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

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I understand how hurricane paths work

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

Why cant I sleep even tho I am sleepy? I am not anxious or worried but my body just doesn't want to. I've been awake for almost 2 days and feel sleepy but I cant sleep. My doctor said its anxiety related but its not. Is this normal?

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

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I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I see through liars

Why is my older sister so mean to me as if I was her enemy?

I have complete contempt for fakery

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

Have you ever had a scary dream about a loved one or friend soon after their death?

I can count

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

Why is sin so sweet?

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

What disgusts you?

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I can read

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

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I actually pay taxes

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I don’t cotton to rapists

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Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I know who the president of Turkey really is

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I don’t buy bullshit

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I have complete contempt for traitorism